The Modern Spirit

September 20th, Nevada: Following an infectious online campaign for the god-given mandate to have sex with aliens to be fulfilled, millions of people showed...

Dispatch from Guelph: 2034 Seventh Year Student Mark Hoppus, no relation told the Modern Spirit in an exclusive interview that he and his friends were...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH BUT ALSO ANTARCTICA: Studies have shown that the very fabric of reality as we understand it might be far from...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - Tuesday, Winter Semester. The 99N bus. Tim Tom, a 2 year Mathematics of Pigs Major found himself in the seats...

By: Nolan Wadsworth Life has continued as expected in Guelph; buses are late, guide dogs are cute and theatre students still have no prospects for...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - The question that has been on everyone's mind resurfaces. People around the world have been asking this. Nobody knows. An...

Interviewer: Nolan Wadsworth   "Hockey, Figure skating, the one with the big puck and you have to throw it. That's a cool one." - Sam          "Smoking a...

Interviewer: Nolan Wadsworth "Every time I eat a Yellow M&M I feel a sense of accomplishment, as my lobster claws make it pretty much impossible...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – In a dramatic turn of events, Bob Tulap, regional director of Guelph Transit has announced that the controversial public service...

By: Wolan Nadsworth GUELPH – The Colonel who leads an army of gophers underneath the Guelph University campus have struck a proverbial gold mine underneath...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - Reports from the field indicated that Wesley Dickerson, third year commerce student and self-identified "social media influencer" got a haircut....

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - The University of Guelph experienced a massive environmental disaster yesterday and not a single person noticed, except for Gaius Frogerson...

One of our writers, Nolan Wadsworth, is attempting to diffuse a bomb! All he needs to do is find the one wrong number in this...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - Johnata Malkovich, a third year Political Science Major has informed the world via a picture of a note she wrote...

By: Nolan Wadsworth BREAKING NEWS!! I’ve seen the dog! You know, THE dog. He's a good boy, maybe even the best boy. I saw him right...

By: Nolan Wadsworth HAMILTON – “And then he jumps in with his lightsaber and cuts its head off! BAM”. Dave, local Star Wars Fanboy recounts...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – In a brief statement, the University of Guelph has informed students that Admissions Services has received an application from a...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Taking inspiration from the United States, the University of Guelph has announced in a press release that they will be...

By: Nolan Wadsworth Peterborough – That person you vaguely knew back in High School announced her engagement on Facebook with ‘that guy’ (no, not THAT...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Remembrance Day has passed; and young people have successfully continued the illusion that they really care about listening to dad...

By: Nolan Wadsworth SARNIA – This past weekend, Sandrah Bullock, no relation to Sandra Bullock - critically acclaimed super-star Sandra Bullock was seen at the...

From: The Watchers We’re Watching. We always have been watching, and we always will be. You know what you’ve done, and we know you must...

By: Nolan Wadsworth WORLD, - Did you know there are entire websites dedicated to tracking mass shootings in the U.S? https://www.massshootingtracker.org/data/2017. That’s kind of...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Emergency Super Secret Special Forces were called to Branion Plaza last night in an incident that could only be described...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – That point of the semester has arrived, according to everyone. Timothy Reed has decided to stay in bed this morning...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Local lonely student Chris Mansfield has recently decided that the single life just wasn’t for him anymore. “I’ve tried Tinder,...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – As part of the Mental Health framework the university has implemented, there is a new support group geared specifically at...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - A recent study out of the University of Guelph's Department of Stuff Studies found evidence that suggests everyone dies at...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – 4:21 PM, Tuesday October 24th. Police set up a perimeter around the cannon after an incident unfolded on central campus. Witnesses...

By: Nolan Wadsworth In a surprising turn of events, today, Alex and Sam found themselves in the Lennox-Addington Starbucks line at the same time and...

By: Nolan Wadsworth They’re marking it. Obviously. What did you think this article would be about? Do you think they’d be doing anything other than marking you? You...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Is anyone looking for an author? Will write 4 cash. The University Bookstore recently unveiled their new business plan to...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Students are feeling certain ways about things. We at the Modern Spirit pestered an incredibly small sample size of students...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH & EVERYWHERE – In an unsurprising turn of events, members of a notorious racketeering gang have been arrested. The “Book Boyz”,...

By: Nolan Wadsworth Guelph – Local artist Carly Beaumont, after contemplating her career as a graphic-tee artist over a coffee recently told the Modern Spirit...

By: Nolan Wadsworth CANADA – In a new effort to establish dominance on the global maple syrup market, CSAHS-SA, Canada’s intelligence community has developed a...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - A local hero has emerged in the city of Guelph. His name is Evan Clapp. Evan “Thunder” Clapp, a...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – A local student group has recently received a lot of attention on campus for their advertising campaign. The Revolutionary Student...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Tamara Deborah Staci (with a heart on top) Peterson, a local member of the PTA with one of those “can...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - The critically acclaimed director Christopher Nolan visited all corners of Guelph this past weekend as part of the location scouting...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - Cheryl Cuttingham, a second year double major in history and philosophy recently reported on Facebook that they have done their...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - In the wake of recent political scandal in the United States, where U.S presidential hopeful and notorious rat cage fighter,...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Numerous clubs at the University of Guelph have been reported to be protesting outside of the University Centre this past...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – University Administration in collaboration with the Ontario Agricultural College have unveiled their new plan to reinvigorate campus. On Thursday, September...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Francesca Bottom, the barista who always smiles at me and remembers my name, reports that study space has been severely...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – Keith Richards, no relation to Keith Richards the legendary guitar player, was reported wearing plaid shirts multiple days in a...

GUELPH - This week The University of Guelph will be changed forever. A new, impactful, initiative has landed on campus, but also mostly online. From today...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH & EVERYWHERE – A copy and paste white guy from the Hamptons or wherever took to Overheard at Guelph the other...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH – A wild herd of llamas wearing hats have been seen on campus carrying around pitchforks and other bladed weapons in...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - As the school year kicks off, thousands of students have inexplicably found themselves walking out of class at exactly 12:04...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - Computing Services at Guelph have recently rolled out the new design for Courselink featuring a slick, modern aesthetic as part...

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - In an effort to appeal to a large group of people, we at Modern Spirit decided to take a page...