Hipster student unsure about buying inflated organic produce or “fake food”

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Organic food

By: Nolan Wadsworth

GUELPH – Cheryl Cuttingham, a second year double major in history and philosophy recently reported on Facebook that they have done their research and will be making the switch to locally sourced organic produce.

The reasoning behind this life-altering decision stems from subtle yet highly effective posts about removing body-toxins (whatever that means) posted by infamous con-artist David Wolfe, reports Victoria, Cheyrl’s roommate who watched the slow but painful descent into madness.

“It started with essential oils. A week later she was talking about super foods. What comes next? Chemtrails? Saying nature is the best cure for depression?”, she sobbed quietly into the embrace of Scrappy, our bipedal Burmese Mountain dog.

Sources close to Cheryl report she has been struggling with income since she made the switch. “Its almost like a guy who has no credentials or credibility is trying to scam people into buying his ‘superior’ products”

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