The Science That Matters

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No flying cars but we do have Beyblades, so that’s something

By: Jack Fisher It is 2019. nineteen years after the Y2K virus was going to decimate our computers, eighteen years after 9/11, thirty-four years after...

Middle class family too good for vaccines

By: Jarin Pintana Canada has had solid economic growth for the past few years. With the economy on solid footing, the labour market is thriving,...

Are Craisins Sentient?

By: Jarin Pintana The simple answer is yes. Plant research has already shown that plants are sentient. They have varied responses to stimuli such as...

Is pizza the ultimate super food?

By: Jack Fisher New research suggests that pizza is the ultimate super food. Considerations have been made for the fact that pizza can sometimes be rather...

Local student develops square pupils after binging The Office

By: Jack Fisher The first case of the affliction that every middle-class mother in 2002 warned their children about has finally surfaced. Alfonso Copecino (Cope-eh-seen-oh),...

Here are the first 10,000 digits of pi. Can you find the mistake?

One of our writers, Nolan Wadsworth, is attempting to diffuse a bomb! All he needs to do is find the one wrong number in this...

Student solves climate change single-handedly

By: Nolan Wadsworth GUELPH - Johnata Malkovich, a third year Political Science Major has informed the world via a picture of a note she wrote...

Guelph Transit Moving to Telepathic Bus System

By Jarin Pintana Recently, Guelph transit removed bus schedules at bus stops; they were replaced with a phone number which can be called for the...

New Year New Me – software for the socially awkward

By: Jack Fisher WATERLOO – RIM (Research In Motion) has just released the first software package applicable to the human body. New Year New Me...

Oakvillian starts petition for all Canadians to begin hibernation

By: Wombat Squirrel OAKVILLE – Jack Fisher, a young Oakvillian man, has started a change.org petition to the world requesting that Canadians can hibernate...