Viva la Revolution!

By: Nolan Wadsworth

GUELPH – A local student group has recently received a lot of attention on campus for their advertising campaign. The Revolutionary Student Movement had put up a lot of posters detailing their values using words that sounded vaguely hostile to someone who has only taken an introductory political science class.

The student group has likely emerged as a response to the wide-spread debate about whether Nazis are okay or not. The world seemed to have a firm stance against them circa 1939-1945, but now we’re not so sure. General Secretary of the Revolutionary Student Movement was quoted saying that the group hasn’t even done anything yet, besides saying that some objectively shitty things are shitty and protesting the Nu-CSA in an effort to seize the cannon for their cause so the backlash on public forums is confusing.

Guelph students took to Overheard to propagate the “Red Menace” that is taking over campus and how communism has killed a LOT of people. A more nuanced understanding of different forms of economic models and their features did not seem to be present over the overpowering noise noting the faults of long past authoritarian systems that adopted the title “communist” or “socialist” while not actually aligning with the idealistic good intentions of caring for your fellow person instead of lording over them.

Local noted dipshit mentioned that Nazis were left-wing because “socialist” was in the name and his 11th grade history teacher died on the spot from a coronary.

The Colonel that governs the kingdom of gopher’s underneath campus has agreed to hold a referendum for the first free and open elections to adopt a one-party system of unionized gopher workers after meeting with the RSM.

Stay tuned for the people’s news in the following weeks, comrades.


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