Area 51 Raids successful: Dawn of a New Age for humanity?

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September 20th, Nevada: Following an infectious online campaign for the god-given mandate to have sex with aliens to be fulfilled, millions of people showed their support around the world for the brave heroes storming the front gates of those who would deny us alien sex.

Hundreds of max-level gamers fought bravely against the keepers of cheeks and with no casualties, thanks to the cheat codes discovered in the first chamber of the base. They managed to unlock the secret door to “them aliens”. Chad Chaderson of Clan Chad described the event as “smelly” considering the Gamers hadn’t showered.

Inside the chamber the aliens who had been kept in captivity were released to the world and announced that they would solve climate change for humanity. Dozens of people who showed up to protest climate change, instead of supporting our brave gamers must feel pretty dumb now…

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