Calder Schweitzer - Author Page

Snowbirds flyby successfully inspires hundreds, scares the shit out of thousands

The Snowbirds are set to fly over Guelph tomorrow. Not the Canadian geese that flew to Florida with our grandparents back in January, but the...
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Canada to adopt third national language

By: Calder Schweitzer OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced in a press conference today that Canada is in the process of adopting a new...

100 Mile Grill (Creelman) promises to serve only locally-sourced roadkill

By: Calder Schweitzer GUELPH – Hospitality Services has announced today that it will be retiring the student favourite 100 Mile Grille in Creelman hall in...

Making Friends 101: Their major and what it means

By: Calder Schweitzer The University of Guelph has a plethora of majors to choose from, offered by a variety of unique colleges and faculties. Asking...

Archaeologists Uncover Rare Unbent Fork in Creelman Hall

By: Calder Schweitzer GUELPH – Archaeologists working on an excavation project in Creelman Hall last week uncovered something truly remarkable – a fork: completely unbent,...

Nobody Discussing Great New Club on Campus

By: Calder Schweitzer The Modern Spirit ventured out into the world this week to bring you an update on one of Guelph’s newest student groups:...

First snowfall of the season spells disaster for climate change

By: Calder Schweitzer GUELPH – The first snowfall of the year was seen this week, and while students and staff from all types of programs...

Many Canadian households surviving exclusively on Thanksgiving leftovers

By: Calder Schweitzer Families across Canada celebrated Thanksgiving this past weekend, in celebration of a plentiful harvest that only a fraction of them actually took...

breaking: mY CAPS LOCK KEY IS BROKEN

bY: cALDER sCHWEITZER guelph – fIELD REPORTERS FOR tHE mODERN sPIRIT ARE CURRENTLY INFORMING ME THAT MY CAPS-LOCK KEY HAS BEEN BROKEN, CAUSING ME TO...

The person in your unassigned seat not treating it well

By: Calder Schweitzer GUELPH – Field reporters for The Modern Spirit have informed us of a developing situation in your lecture hall. Sources are saying...

MBG assignment graded at 60% discovered living in Arboretum

By: Calder Schweitzer GUELPH – Field biologists working in Guelph’s Arboretum have discovered a new species today. The creature appears to be a form of...

Magnitude 5.0 Earthquake Felt in Guelph Sourced to Students Preparing to...

By: Calder Schweitzer GUELPH – Things got a little shaky last week as the city of Guelph experienced a magnitude 5.0 earthquake. The quake, which...

Biggest subject of procrastination isn’t school, it’s attending first Aggie Pub

By: Calder Schweitzer A study was released this week showing that, while many students procrastinate doing their schoolwork, an even larger portion of the UofG...