By: Jack Fisher

  1. Make sure there’s water
  2. If there’s no water, find some.

  3. What do you mean there’s no water? Better find some, dude

  4. Steal water bottles from the grocery store.

  5. Are you sure there’s no water?

  6. Really?

  7. Have you checked the taps?

  8. No water? Shit.

  9. Get some barrels to collect rain

  10. Buy/steal a cactus (or ten)

  11. People are 80% water. Do you have any old neighbours? Can you drink them? Will they be missed?


  13. Okay, calm down. How much water is left in the toilet?

  14. Toilet water is clean until you use it

  15. Run the bathtub until it fills up. (make sure to plug it first, we forgot that part)

  16. You’re out of water? Well, like, have you tried calling? … You have? … oh … The whole city is devoid of water? … Fuck

  17. Scream?

  18. Stop moving. Conserve water.

  19. Jump into the ocean for a bit. Your skin will absorb the water, but not the salt.

  20. Just find some water, dude.

  21. Maybe move?


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here