Study says “Eating hair is good for your health”

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By: Alexander Boyle

Are you disgusted by weird textures in your mouth? Whether it is so squishy and slimy that you feel like it’s about the slither down your throat, or thin and scratchy like you’ve spent months hanging out with your worst allergy! For me, the atrocity of hair in my mouth has always been one that fills me with disdain and discomfort that envelops my entire body… until recently.

Earlier this year, at a biomedical conference hosted by the University of Guelph, our very own B.A. student Kosa Jesti praised the nutritional benefits of hair. As many of you may know, hair is made of a protein called Keratin. This protein is used extensively throughout the body with particular benefits in the hair, skin and nails. Kosa’s thesis states that with enough Keratin consumption, you will have healthy, flexible, and strong skin.

Under Kathleen Wynne’s recent administration, we have seen excessive budget cuts in our protein industry. Due to this, Ms. Jesti fears for the population of Ontario. We are seeing exceptionally low counts of Keratin in our meats and beans. Without Keratin, we should expect saggy, dry, stiff skin.

In support of these recent events, we are seeing a variety of local barbershops unifying with our students in an attempt to provide a high-quality and affordable supply of Keratin to all Guelph inhabitants. Starting Feb. 15, Vince Lombardo’s Fine Barbers alongside Guelph University, will be distributing bags of hair at the University Centre. If eaten in moderation, these bags will provide enough Keratin to curb any potential for saggy skin, for now.

But lets not stop there! If you or anybody you know has long, luscious hair, please consider cutting that bad boy right off. That Keratin could supply up to 4 adults for an entire month!

So, the next time you feel that strange tingle in your mouth, chomp that hair with pride. Make sure you get your daily intake of keratin, or else you may have the saggiest skin at the University of Guelph.

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