Rudy Gobert of the Utah Jazz has been preemptively awarded Defensive Player of the Year for canceling all NBA games in the foreseeable future.
Gobert, who – on Monday – touched all of the microphones and recorders at an NBA press conference as “a joke,” tested positive yesterday for the COVID-19 novel coronavirus.
Emmanuel Mudiay, Gobert’s team member, also tested positive for COVID-19.
NBA officials took stock after the discovery and called off all future NBA games.
“It’s an unprecedented move,” said one NBA official, “intentionally contracting a pandemic-causing virus and infecting people is a new move to ensure your team wins.”
The official added, “we’re not really sure how the move is supposed to work. I mean, how do you make sure the rest of your team can play? In any case, it’s been damn effective.”
While many of the awards cannot be awarded due to the cancellation of the remainder of the season, NBA brass agreed that this was the ultimate defense.
“There’s no way the Jazz can lose any more games this season,” said NBA commissioner Adam Silver, “Gobert made sure of that, and we definitely have to acknowledge the initiative even if we don’t agree with the method.”
Silver went on to say that “this game is about invention and hard work. When a player gets creative with their position, you know, game recognize game.”
While teams self-quarantine, and the league looks to reschedule the games, one man can be secure in his title. Rudy Gobert, Defensive Player of the Year for 2019-20.