By: Jack Fisher
A research study done by local expert scientists at The Research University of Education (TRUE) recently revealed that we might have our understanding of the world very wrong.
I have thought to myself before “How is it that mountains all seem to have snow on the top of them?” Every time I see a mountain it looks a little bit like an icecream cone that has a hole in the pointy part instead of the large circular part; but what if it’s an illusion? Just think about how mountains are positioned, the top part, where it looks cold, is closest to the sun and the part that looks warm is even further away.
Turns out, according to the aforementioned study done by experts, I might be right.
The study, that involved a poll of nearly a hundred people ranging from the ages of five to fifteen, turned out results that state “warm air rises”.
If warm air rises, then that means the air above us should be really hot. Still with me? Good.
Since the air above us should be hot, and the mountain tops are closer to the sun, the tops of mountains should be like balls of super humid fire. (I know fire can’t be humid, but it’s a metaphor. I thought you were with me!)
I am putting forward a new hypothesis, the white top of mountains isn’t snow, but white hot rocks that are so hot they feel cold when you step on them.
It’s similar to when you get so cold in the winter that you start to feel warm. When I was a child I once spent a whole day outside. During that day I picked up snow, threw snow, molded snow into snowy shapes and buried myself in it. Eventually I got very cold. The lucky part about feeling very cold was that I started feeling very warm after some time. I was told later that the warm feeling was frost-bite and it was actually a bad thing.
If people can get frostbite and feel warm, then maybe mountains actually have something akin to fire-bite. This theory is supported by expert Doctor Benjamin Smith at TRUE.
When asked, Doctor Smith explained how the sun works, “the sun is a great big ball of fire” the brilliant Doctor began, “because it is fire, and fire is the hottest kind of thing ever. [The Sun] sends its heat into our galaxy because it just can’t keep it all to itself. That would be selfish.”
“It just so happens” continued the amazing Doctor, “that Earth, which is where we are, is in the way of the heat that the Sun is giving away. When the heat hits the Earth it gets absorbed into the highest things first, then spreads to the lower things.”
I also asked the Doctor Benny Smith why hot air rises (according to reliable studies), he said, “[h]ot air rises because hot air doesn’t like cold things and the ground of the Earth is cold. The heat from the sun hits the rocks and water on the surface of the Earth and bounces right back into space like a basketball.”
Doctor Smith also revealed to us that, not only are mountains very warm on the top, but clouds are also blazingly dangerous to touch. He said “Clouds are some of the hottest things ever”.
Word to the wise, be careful of mountains. Make sure you bring a t-shirt, shorts, and lots of sunscreen. Flip-flops would also probably be a good idea.
[Disclaimer: the author has never climbed a mountain]
[Disclaimer 2: The Research University of Education is an independent institution and is only officially recognized by the country of Latveria]