By: Jack Fisher
ABERFOYLE – Anarchy took hold of the small local road just south of Guelph yesterday following a terrible accident.
In an event where an 18 wheeler set on fire, Rubber Duck’s rig blocked traffic from approximately 5:17am until 6:34pm. In that time, community members and commuters alike formed a civilization that embraced their new life on the road.
The complete gridlock that prevented people from travelling westbound on the dirt highway, the 401, also allowed those stuck to bond with each other Mad Max style.
By 10:15am the trapped citizens had formed a makeshift democratic government designed to equally distribute rations amongst those trapped. By 12:00pm, a class hierarchy had developed and upper, lower, and middle classes were forming based on the kind of vehicle they owned in their previous life.
As the afternoon waned, a brutal struggle broke out around a tractor trailer that contained only the finest of DARE Foods Bear Paws. The Bear Paw Massacre saw the lower-middle class (all driving some iteration of the Ford Focus) lighting the truck on fire and laughing as The People’s best hope for an easy snack burned in front of hundreds of stranded commuters.
By the time the collision was cleaned up by repair teams – who seemed oblivious to the rouge society forming behind them – Highwayland had gone through political shifts that normally take hundreds of years. The Emperor was over thrown, the Thunerdome torn down, and the society was in disarray.
Luckily, no one was injured in the civil war that took place at 4:23pm, and most folks were able to make it home for supper.