By: Edward Willems

GUELPH – University of Guelph students are notorious for their lack of free time, and any second wasted could cost someone up to 15 percent of a final grade. This is what led local Studio Art major Matilda Oja to push for a short and affectionate nickname for the School of Fine Art and Music Building, Zavitz Hall.

“Practically every art major has to spend at least thirty-six hours a week in this building,” said Oja, gesturing to Zavitz, “it really becomes a part of us, like a classmate or a prof that continually forgets to grade us. It’s like a friend, so it should have a friendly name. So I call it Zavie! I hope it catches on.”

Currently the nickname has not caught on, and Oja has found herself ostracized by the student-artist community for her bizarre request.

“It’s not even any shorter,” said fellow art student Edward Willems, “it’s the exact same amount of syllables. It’s barely a nickname. It’s such a small and insignificant change. I have never been more angry about anything in my entire life.”

Multiple students shared Willems’ sentiment, pushing Oja’s ridiculous idea to the back of their minds and concentrating their unspoken anger into large abstract works of various mediums, each with the title “Fuck Zavie.”

Oja was not available for comment.


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