By: Nolan Wadsworth

GUELPH – University Administration in collaboration with the Ontario Agricultural College have unveiled their new plan to reinvigorate campus. On Thursday, September 21st documents made available to The Modern Spirit detail a breed of cow that will ensure a prosperous future for us all.

The Cashus Bovine is a common breed of cow that has always seen a high degree of popularity amongst universities. The output of funds towards the institutions could make any rancher smile.

The University, through extensive genetic manipulation has decided to introduce a new subtype of the Cashus Bovine. Internationalis Cashus Bovinus will be “absolutely revolutionary for the pocketbooks”, said a figure wearing nothing but a goat skull. The variation of this species has roughly three times the output of a regular Cashus Bovine.

After extensive inquiry, and consultation with Netty, we have discovered that genetic manipulation is not the contributing factor to the new breed of cow.

We lost three Bothan reporters bringing you the following information: the Internationalis Cashus Bovinus is no different than the standard breed of cow. The only difference is that the cow is shipped from foreign countries. So why is this different breed expected to have three times the output?

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