Some things that will be overpriced still

By: Nolan Wadsworth

GUELPH – Is anyone looking for an author? Will write 4 cash.

The University Bookstore recently unveiled their new business plan to the public. In an effort to maximize their “ability to impact” students on campus they have raised the prices of absolutely everything in the store, except for plastic water bottles. When asked what the new price of some items would be, they would just respond with “more than you can realistically afford. We know what you make Tammy, the Modern Spirit isn’t paying well is it? No rugby sweaters for you”.

They also announced the second tier of their new business plan, where employees would be able to pay to work there instead of receiving pay. Victor Dodig, president of the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce commended this new model and says that most companies in Canada will soon be adopting this model, so only the most dedicated students can earn the privilege of gaining experience in their field of interest.
“Student labour is incredibly undervalued and rightly so,” says Dodig “They are young, eager and are significantly better equipped to handle emerging technology and adapt to the fast-paced work environment that will surely consume us all one day. It’s not like our future depends on us supporting them or anything.”


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