By: Jack Fisher

TORONTO – This morning, Carly Beaumont – self-titled visual artist and entrepreneurial Starbucks employee – snapped as she realized that her life was going nowhere.

While staring into a freshly brewed, tall caramel macchiato, Carly looked up and discovered that she had known all along her custom graphic-tee business was bound to fail.

In the last six years, Carly has only finished a financial quarter in the black once, but that was due to a timely death in the family in which she inherited $6,000.

As an artsy kid, Carly grew up knowing that she was pretty good at drawing stuff. In late 2010 she started her own business drawing cool decals for bumper stickers. Then, in 2013, she revamped her business as she realized that people pay better than cars and founded a T-shirt printing enterprise 100% drawn by her.

While staring into her coffee this morning, something that she has grown to love as she frets through the long hours of no emails and building debts, she came to the realization that he life was probably going nowhere and she might be better off staying at her Starbucks job where she has perfected the art of knowing exactly which customers are going to need lactose-free milk and which ones will immediately Instagram the cup if their name is spelled slightly wrong.

Currently, Carly is dancing around her one room apartment that she set up to look like a loft, with a very unhappy cat. She has plans today to go out and get totally smashed at the local dive bar as she comes to terms with the reality of her situation.


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