By: Nolan Wadsworth
GUELPH – Students are feeling certain ways about things. We at the Modern Spirit pestered an incredibly small sample size of students to convey a message and hear their thoughts. I mean hearing their thoughts in their own words was simply a courtesy, we have been given access to the archives of the hooded figures that catalogue your every thought, making our job way more effective. We are the only student-led newspaper that can now accurately report on everyone’s thoughts on campus.
Our definitely paid reporters took to the streets to ask: “How do you feel about things?”
“I love things. Things were different in a way that wasn’t particularly good for me, but now things are different in a way that is pretty good and that makes me feel a certain way. Now the aspect of my life that involves things is easier,” says Rufus Diefenbaker. The thought catalogue noted that Rufus was lying to us and was thinking about how things reminded him of being so very alone.
Another student, Vladimir Putin, no relation to Russian President Vladimir Putin we think, said that they feel a very particular way about things. Their view on things could be classified as extreme in some circles. Our reporters recall being astounded at the words that came out of their mouth. We would not dare to repeat the words that were said about things, as we are bound by blood oath to forget all details of the conversation and the heavy Russian accent.
One student, Tamara Refielstein had a pretty average opinion on the topic of things. In no way did it stick out, but we included it to reach a minimum word count. “Things were difficult at first; transitioning from one thing to another comes with a fair amount of difficulties, but I persevered. It was tough but I think I got the hang of things now. Bush did 9/11.”
For more updates from thoughts on things, stay in touch with the Modern Spirit. Remember, we know.