By: Jarin Pintana

October 17th brought the legalization of weed in Canada, and with it an outstanding level of good old fashioned Canadian camaraderie. People are taking a hit, and so are anger and unhappiness.

“Everyone is smiling and happy and getting along even better than usual,” said 21 year old university of Guelph student Beverly Beaverly. “It is a little hard to get things done because everyone keeps trying to hold the doors for each other at the same time… also I love your outfit, you’re amazing and I think we should be best friends.” Beaverly stopped the interview multiple times to tell passing strangers that she loved them.

An expert in global political relations says Canada is the safest state of bliss it’s ever been. “If a terror threat were to come knocking at our door right now, Canada would definitely apologize, laugh, and try to pass them a joint”. This has been witnessed on a microcosmic level as people have been spotted having entire conversations that contain only the words “sorry” followed by laughter, back and forth repeatedly in what appears to be an infinite loop.

It is important to note there have been some cons. There is a nationwide Doritos shortage and many drug sniffing dogs now seeking employment in other fields.


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