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By: Jack Fisher

It was a harrowing day for Jeanie Smithe. She woke up early in the morning with the intention of finishing an essay that had been on her plate since the beginning of the semester.

The 8,000 word behemoth of a paper was supposed to be a semester-long project that the class did research for all semester. However, Jeanie really loafted on this one.

According to her roommate “Jeanie has been talking about her ideas for her essay all semester. But she never seems to get around to actually doing anything.”

Reportedly, when the class was asked to hand in a variety of secondary sources that they planned to use in their papers, Jeanie simply looked for some articles that might be relevant on JSTOR and cited them after a quick skim.

“Sure, these articles might be useful” a fly on the wall said that she said, “I’ll figure out what sources I’ll actually use tomorrow.”

Today is the day before this semester influencing essay is due and Jeanie still hasn’t started. “I’ve written essays half this length in an hour before” she reasoned while walking past the traffic camera to work this morning. “I can probably manage to just do it tomorr…” [the audio cut off as Jeanie crossed the street].

Despite the best intentions, Jeanie’s roommate reported that, by the time she went to bed tonight, all Jeanie had written was the title and a rough thesis.

Sign this petition to wish Jeanie “good luck” on her essay: PETITION OR got to:


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