By: Edward Willems

GUELPH – Visitors at the Zavitz Gallery on the University of Guelph campus were shocked to discover empty walls at the exhibition this past Tuesday. The exhibition – meant to show off the large works created by the students in Painting III – was deceptively empty as the public walked into the gallery space on opening night.

Painting III Professor Kohn Jissick was visibly shaken by the discovery. “I . . . I don’t understand,” he was heard saying, “We-we did a critique, I s-saw . . . I saw massive abstract w-works and . . . where . . . ?”

Authorities attempting to discover the cause of the disappearing paintings visited the painting studio in Alexander Hall, and were assaulted by an overwhelming cloud of fumes upon entering. A barrage of scents and chemicals were pouring out of the completely empty studio and into the lungs of passerby.

“It looks like the artists were… well… inundated, with paint fumes all semester,” a representative from Fire Prevention services stated. “The mix of solvent, linseed oil, and cheap oil paints must have affected the students’ and caused them to pretty much just hallucinate working all these months.”

The student-artists were surprised and confused, but remain hopeful that this sudden discovery does not affect the grades already given by their professor.


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