“I bought these bluntstones and can’t stop calling Gryph “Daddy”

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By: Sarah Wetsmirch

GUELPH – Do you know that feeling when you are walking around campus and you see someone wearing that hideous purple from Western and you feel the disgust in your stomach for no good reason other than the fact that you now wear blundstones and call Gryph “Daddy”

It began like this: I was walking around the Stone Road Mall the other day and a pair of beautiful brown blundstones caught my eye. I had just finished crying about the potential of a Fall Reading Week messing up the entire exam schedule and chugging an entire 2-liter bottle of Chai Bubble Tea from Half Tea. I texted my friend Jenny to go to Stone Road. Retail Therapy was just needed. So, I used my OSAP loan to buy myself a pair of blundstones. $300? What a steal. I’m obsessed.

The first time I wore my blundstones around campus, literally everyone was looking at me. This guy, Jeremy, the total beefcake from my stats class, came up to me and said “Tubular Blundstones, Sarah. Do you want to grab a vegan gluten-free muffin from the Bullring sometime?” Score.

I didn’t have time for Jeremy though, the sun had set. It was time to paint the cannon. I had to fight off waves of organizations wanting to use the cannon as free advertising and some guy who wanted to take an obnoxious number of pictures with the cannon as his dick.

Read more: Local Guelph student takes picture of “Old Jerimiah” as penis

I wasn’t sure Guelph was for me, but everything seemed to click once I slipped on the comfortable, yet practical footwear. Blundstones have transformed the way I see Guelph, or maybe the way Guelph sees me.

It was Wednesday, and I could hear the line-dancing from afar. The UC was the place to be. Obviously, I had already been prepared for an emergency “Aggie Pub” visit. Clad entirely in plaid, save for the blundstones (they don’t have that pattern out yet, but once they do, you bet I’ll be rocking those) I line-danced my way in to Peter Clark Hall.

Amidst the sea of plaid and over-priced leather jackets, there he stood. Gryph in all of his glory. He was quite a charmer. Strong, silent type. We completed the ritualistic courtship dance to Guelph’s anthem “She cranks my tractor”. It was love. Of this I was sure. My blundstones have taken over and connected me with the pulse of Guelph and with the love of my life, Gryph.

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